Eighteen and a Life to Go

Saturday.

9/06/03.

18 years ago today.

We decided two weeks prior that we’d get married. On the beach in Cape May. The mayor’s office called and let us know they had a cancellation that weekend and wanted to offer it to us. We said yes. It meant that my parents wouldn’t be able to make it. We said we’d take pictures (I don’t have any of them).

We spent a weekend together in Cape May a few years prior but that was the only time I’d ever been there. So, the morning of I printed out Mapquest directions and we were off. Me, Shelley, her mother, and Jeffery. (My sister and our good friend Scott followed behind). A two and a half hour drive. Until we hit construction. Not only did this cause us to slow down, but it rendered my Mapquest directions useless (even more useless than they usually were — this was pre-Waze and/or Google Maps motherfuckers!) I got lucky and made a few correct turns and it looked like we’d get there just fine. But we’d be about 15 minutes late. As we pulled up, the Mayor was getting ready to give up on us. We apologized, forked over the $100 bucks, and 10 minutes later…we were legally hitched.

The legal part has never mattered to me.

Eighteen is a composite number, its divisors being 1, 2, 3, 6 and 9. Three of these divisors (3, 6 and 9) add up to 18, hence 18 is a semiperfect number.

Eighteen is the atomic number of argon. I’ll use that in a sentence for you. “To celebrate our anniversary, we argon to Starbucks this morning.”

In most countries, eighteen is the age of majority, in which a minor becomes a legal adult. It is also the voting age, marriageable age, drinking age and smoking age in most countries.

In the United States, 18 is the age for sexual consent in eleven states and under federal law.

Eighteen is Russ Wheeler’s car number in the classic American film Days of Thunder.

Some athletes who wore eighteen….

Peyton Manning, Daryl Strawberry, Denis Savard, Bret Saberhagen, Dave Cowens, Charlie Joiner, Moises Alou, John “Hot Rod” Williams, Phil Jackson, and Andy Van Slyke.

In association football (soccer), “the 18" is a slang term for the penalty area. AND, the number of holes on a regulation golf course.

Eighteen is also the number of years I’ve been the luckiest guy alive.

And if you read all of this, you’re pretty damn lucky, too.

The hairdos have changed, and at one point I had dick-do…but I wouldn’t trade one minute.

Happy anniversary, Shelley. I love you.

You’re the yin to my yang. The Laurel to my Hardy. The peanut butter to my spoon (fuck bread and jelly).

You’re quite literally the reason I don’t leave the house smelling like a 47 year old gym sock. And I like to think I’m the reason you haven’t mowed down a group of pedestrians with your car in a Starbucks parking lot.

Thanks for reading. Tots and pears.

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