Being Good

I am a huge fan of sitcoms (situation comedies). Majority of the TV series I watch are sitcoms. I prefer sitcom series than watching movies of the comedy genre. Recently, I came across a comedy series, “The Good Place” (available in NBC, Netflix, Hulu, etc.). This series which is still continuing is a huge hit. Plotting a story that is outside of conventional thinking has been rewarding for this show. For me, this was not only a show like other sitcoms that I love. I am sure, many others watching the show has the same feeling as me. “The Good Place” drove me to think; think about my life on earth, think about my actions, think about whether I am really being a good person here in this world.

I can confidently say 80% of me is “Good”. I always try to do the right thing, sometimes I also get obsessed about doing the right thing. Then a famous dialogue from this show got me thinking i.e. “do we do good things for moral desserts?”. So, why I am trying to be good? Is it because I want people to think I am good and deep down I am not?

I am a human. I experience jealousy, envy, hatred towards others. I know these feelings are wrong right at the moment when I am experiencing these negative emotions. I try very hard to convince myself not to have these feelings. But is it the right way a good person should feel? Should I convince myself not to have these feelings or should I not have those feelings, to begin with, if I am ACTUALLY a good person?

First impressions of the people we met can be confusing. I have met a lot of people in my life whom I thought to be “moody” at first but they were just “shy”. I have also met many in my life whom I thought to be “friendly” but turned out to be “selfish”. New people are not instantly welcomed in an already established group, they have to earn their places. So, every time, I meet a new person, I try to be welcoming, I try to figure out everything that is good about them, help them feel a part of the group and not alienating them with the first flaw I find.

Social media are a nice way to communicate with people and keep in touch with others. They can also have toxic effects on our lives. When we scroll through Facebook or Instagram, we don’t look into a single person’s life, we collectively grasp the information about every good thing happening to our every friend in social media (people hardly post failures, which we love, don’t we?). I have watched many TEDx talks where the speaker mentioned not to be jealous of your friends’ happiness/achievements, don’t compare yourself with them. But how a person cannot be intrigued by the idea of comparing when so much information is available to her.

There are certain ways people deal with these negative emotions. They find a way to bring down their friends/acquaintances in order to feel better about themselves. I know because I have been there:

Whereas I will not disagree with the fact that I have felt these emotions but I have gradually learned to feel happy for people and also be happy with what I have achieved in my life. If I feel down, I do what I need to do to improve myself rather than thinking about one of the three points above. But, and that is a big but, majority of the people around me feel having negative emotions and dealing with it the wrong way is the right thing to do! So basically we are ignoring the fact that we are being “bad”!

This proves how mentally weak we have become these days. When I was watching “The Good Place” TV series, I stumbled upon a TEDx talk titled “The Secret of Becoming Mentally Strong | Amy Morin | TEDxOcala” where she mentions the necessity of being mentally strong.

What I most like about her talk is she mentions, “Life is not fair”. No matter how many good deeds you have done in your life or will do in the future, it does not matter. Bad things will happen to you and you still need to keep your morality upright. You cannot expect any “moral dessert” every time you do something good. You might be the person who was always a perfect and ethical person all her life, still, your life is miserable. On the other hand, you will see people who are otherwise but still acing their lives. The question one might ask is what do I get to keep my ethics intact even though I am miserable. The answer is “nothing” because as said in “The Good Place”, you don’t get any moral dessert. So, one might ask, should I be bad then? Or should I not care at all? My opinion is you SHOULD care. I am a strong believer of God and I believe in the afterlife. But I am not trying to be good for getting into heaven. I am trying to be good because it is the right thing to do. The only moral dessert I am getting is the “satisfaction of soul” and that is enough for me.

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