Echos in the void

I write words that melt into cyberspace…

Three years ago or so I decided to change the direction I was heading. For as long as I remember I was focused on answering some questions that were directing me to interesting paths. In the end, I think three years ago, I reached a conclusion.

It took 20 years to reach. 20 years of pitfalls and struggles. My stubbornness to pursue it was unrelenting. The problem with this way of thinking is that inevitably you become self exiled.

To clear the fog for anyone reading this, the question was one of an existential nature.

The road that I took after my final conclusion was one that required perseverance. The new field that I was about to study was one completely different from the previous one. That one being programming, more accurately web development and now machine learning.

I always was fascinated about technology. Being a fan of the cyberpunk genre I was always thinking how the future would turn out to be.

The change was abrupt. It was intentional. I wanted to stimulate my mind with more difficult problems and programming was the perfect choice.

I saw my leap more of a plunge into the abyss. I strategically put myself in a situation were if I didn’t make it there was no turning back. I either failed or succeeded.

One other motive was to see how will I behave in unknown circumstances. Initially, to be sincere, I was behaving like a robot. I knew that some actions were unpleasant but I did them anyway. Interviews with different IT firms, for me, were peaks of mountains, impossible to reach. But I went there, failed multiple times. But I knew that the more I fail the more I learn how the industry works and what they require of me.

In the end I entered a special program, a pre-employment program. I won 2nd place and got the job.

The next year or so would became a non-stop period of accommodation and learning.

Now, after one and half years I feel at peace with my decision. I love what I do. I solve problems. Problem solving was always a hobby for me. It all started with that question, and ended up hacking my own mind. Refactoring the way it was build, testing it. I may say I reached a conclusion but not the end. The mind as the code can always be more clean and more optimized.

At the beginning everything seems simple, because we have no understanding of it. After a while we see how complex it can be and how deep the rabbit hole goes, but in the end all regains its simplicity, once you find the pattern.

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