The Words We Choose Can Be Toxic

Think carefully before you speak, especially when you give advice!

The photo shows me in a discussion with the juror of this pastel society show. That is my Mom with a big smile, me in the middle talking, and the juror on the right. Mom must have thought what I was saying was funny. That is a good thing. I remember the night and enjoyed talking to her since I don’t get to see her often. It was a delightful encounter and great to see my friend.

I remember she asked me which painting was mine. I told her the judge of this show didn’t accept my artwork. It was me being funny. She was the judge and got a kick out of my response. I think I even got a hug! Her remark, “How dare that judge because you are a wonderful artist.”

That … remark … was … “a wonderful” … thing … to … say! And, Mom thought it was fun! I enjoyed seeing my friend and will remember it for a long time.

I hope you enjoyed that little story as it illustrates the idea of this article!

And if you are giving advice! Find the positive attitude in yourself to deal with what could be a “not so positive” situation!

The above story could have gone a completely different way if I had let it. Also, my friend, the juror, went right along with the humor of the situation. Many paintings are submitted to a show of this stature, and the majority do not get accepted. I know this and do not let it define me as an artist.

We all deal with our own inner battles but don’t bring them into another person’s discussion. She was genuinely excited to see me at the reception. Take a breath, and figure out a way to be sympathetic about what, or how, they are doing. She had a tough job!

Are you someone that knows how to encourage when asked for advice? And, if you are discussing another person’s endeavors, start out with a positive thought? I am told I like to ask a lot of questions, but I do so to find the entry to giving constructive advice.

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